December 5, 2011

forgiveness


10 Tips to Free Yourself From Resentment


One of the most beneficial things you can do for your emotional well-being is to forgive. Forgive everyone who has ever hurt you, let you down, ripped you off, and anyone you perceive as the "enemy."

Why? Because holding on to resentment toward someone depletes your energy, delays spiritual progression and growth, and makes your life more stressful. Forgiveness will not make you let your guard down, make you overly-vulnerable, or allow the troublemaker to continue hurting you if you don't want it to. In fact, it will make you stronger and possibly even protect you from further harm.

Below are 10 tips to help you forgive and let go.

1) It's important to note that forgiveness is a process. It doesn't usually happen overnight. Commit to it and eventually the negative feelings will fade.

2) If you're having trouble forgiving someone, try the following exercise. Meditate on the situation and person and visualize them in front of you. Explain why you're upset, then tell them you forgive them. Notice the reaction you perceive them to have. Do this until you can feel your forgiveness, and remember it's not for them, but for you. Every time you think of the person express forgiveness to them.

3) Try to view the situation from their viewpoint and consider all the possible reasons why they acted as they did (such as experiences in their childhood, lack of awareness, emotional or mental instability, neurosis, possession, etc.). Try to feel compassion for them, though at first it may seem easier to turn water into wine.

4) Accept that whatever happened may be something you chose, on a karmic, spiritual level, to experience. Take responsibility for your part of what happened "to you."

5) Realize that if you don't forgive them, guess who you'll get to come back with in a future life for another round? That should help you let go of the resentment more quickly.

6) Realize that they will get what's coming to them eventually, even if it doesn't appear so to you. Our findings indicate that karma often doesn't return to someone until future lifetimes. You do not have to, and should not attempt to assist this process, by the way. If you do, you will create more negative karma for yourself. Revenge with no apparent consequences may have been a popular theme in the 80s show Dynasty, but unlike in TV-land, vengeance comes with a heavy spiritual price in the real world.

7) Life is demanding. Instead of targeting someone with animosity and creating more tension and trauma, try other activities like meditation, exercise, watching funny movies, or doing something nice for someone. Lighten up and let it go. Life is too magnificent to waste it being angry.

8) Forgive, but don't forget. Be compassionate, yet stand your ground.

9) Remember to forgive yourself. It's amazing how many people have managed to forgive others, but have not found the self-love to forgive themselves.

10) Go through the following list and forgive everyone. Feel the forgiveness. Express the forgiveness. Remember, it's not for them. This is for you.

Forgive...